Janis H

About Janis H

As a nurse, being the caregiver for my own husband has been the hardest “patient” of my 40 plus year careeer. My husband, Mike has metastatic prostate cancer. The journey from his diagnosis six years ago to where we are now has been a long and winding road. Going through prostate surgery and a lenghty recovery was tough on him, and on me. Somehow, we survived.

However, a little over a year ago bone metatases was found and for me, being a caregiver began. Taking care of a once very independent man who now naps a lot, rarely wants to go out, and still refuses pain medicine is HARD! I have had to let go of my expectations on what I think he should do, as both his wife and as a nurse, and let HIM decide what he needs. That has not been easy.

I continue to plant seeds for him to consider in his day to day life. Rice packs he once might have scoffed at, are there when he wants them. The idea of joining our local YMCA, which he would never have considered before, is there for a walk around the track when he is up to it. Living in Maine, the thought of walking outdoors and falling a breaking a bone is terrifying! And when his appetite diminished, the suggetion of a protein shake took him weeks to agree to trying. But now, he has one on most days! It took me letting go, for him to grab on!

This Valentine’s Day, I’m grateful he is still here with me. As I write this, I get tearful thinking he might not be here next year. But he is here now! Thankfuly, we are so fortunate to have both of our daughters nearby, ready and willing to lend a hand and keep up our spirits.

Thank you for the opportunity to share our story.

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