Larry K

About Larry K

I helped to care for my father after being diagnosed with end stage/stage 4 prostate cancer with severe bone metastasis. He was diagnosed in February of 2017. My father was not feeling well for a couple of months. He lost a lot of weight quickly and then got to the point where he was so tired and weak that he could barely make it through the day. I knew something was very wrong. I brought my father in to see his primary care doctor and he examined my father and ordered a bunch of tests. He mentioned checking my father’s PSA while making a brief comment that the test may not be covered by insurance because of my father’s age…but I am so thankful the test was ordered anyway. At least I was thankful that it was ordered and we were able to find out the cause of what was ailing my father. My father’s PSA lever returned well over 600 and I was informed of his prostate cancer diagnosis. He was referred to a urologist who immediately started my father on hormone therapy and treatment for the bone metastasis as well. For the next several months my father responded well to that treatment. He gained some weight back and some energy. We were even able to take him to Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay and for a weekend getaway at a family condo. Unfortunately, in August of 2017 his PSA level started to climb again and my father was referred to an oncologist. In August he received his first dose of chemotherapy. Overall, he did fairly well with the first treatment. The morning of his second chemotherapy appointment my father suffered a major heart attack and stroke. As you can imagine these two events complicated everything. My father lost the use of his right arm and lost his speech as well. This was very devastating to me but not to my father. I haven’t mentioned yet how incredibly strong my father was and how he never complained once during the course of his disease – so it was not a surprise that he made it through the heart attack and stroke and fought hard to regain some of his speech. He was never able to fully communicate again or speak more than a full sentence but he worked hard every day to keep up communication with us. I would log every new word he would say and I remember being so excited to hear him say something new or be able to partially communicate an “I love you”. Due to the heart attack and stroke my father was no longer able to get chemotherapy or hormone therapy for the prostate cancer. We had to accept that his time was drawing close to an end and provide him with the best end of life care that we could. My children would visit with him and sit for hours talking, telling jokes, reading stories and my 6 year old daughter would even help comb his hair after I would bathe him. There were many emotional and overwhelming times shared during the last few months of his life. I think some important things that I learned from caregiving is that it’s important to respect your loved ones, to treat them with all the kindness and love you have for them and to really listen to their wishes. I think it’s important to laugh and have fun together and to provide an environment of joy. And it’s so important to spend as much quality time with your loved one as you can. The hardest thing about caring for my father was watching someone who was always so strong his whole life deteriorate. It was painful to watch. My father passed away December 21, 2017.

One thing that surprised me was how helpful my children were during this time (my daughter being 5-6 years old and my son being 17 years old). They both were so compassionate and took on caregiving roles even in their young ages. That was beautiful to watch and I believe it was a good lesson for them as well. Our hearts are broken now. A large piece of my heart feels like it’s missing now. But I know my father is no longer suffering. I hope that prostate cancer research continues to grow as I know if this disease can be caught early and treated with current and new therapies that men can live long lives. I have hope in my heart for that. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

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