Sandy F.

About Sandy F.

I met my guy 6 months after my now ex- husband walked out after 40 years with no explanation.

I decided that this time I wanted a fella who would give me love and affection and appreciate me. I found all that with my new guy. After 5 years together he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer. At first he said he was sorry he had “ruined my life.” I told him “No he only added Joy to my life.” Later I felt quite gypped that I found this wonderful guy and now we had bookends to our relationship. I thought we’d walk off into the sunset together. I was angry and unhappy. A few months later we went away to our favorite spot in New Hampshire. One night I realized he’d have gotten Prostate Cancer whether or not I was there. It was an honor to accompany him on this journey. I would have hated him to be alone on it.

I talked with a friend who had recently lost his wife to Pancreatic Cancer. He said to me, Sandy this is the hardest thing you will ever do, being a Caretaker, but I promise you will get through it. I thought on that for a while and realized, it’s the hardest thing I will ever do, but being his Caregiver is the Most Important thing I will ever do in my life. It is more important than raising a child. Children become more independent. My fella will be less so. It is an honor to be by his side.

As my Guy’s condition became more challenging the thought came to me, I am walking him to Calvary. This is my mission. This is why we met. This is holy. This is why we are together. A friend said, “You have been training for this all your life”.  I forgot I began my career in 1974 working with children with leukemia, when few children survived.. It was true that all my experiences are being called upon to help both of us through this mighty challenge

I try to make every day count. To tell him every day I love him. To stay in the “here and now”.  If I drift into the “there and then” I drag us back to the “here and now” and celebrate our “usness” right now.