Sheila F.

About Sheila F.

Who is a hero?
Certainly our brother, Rob, who passed away from prostate cancer about 8 months ago at age 51 (diagnosed at 49). After battling Crohn’s disease since his 20s, he was devastated to receive the cancer diagnosis, after being tested as an afterthought by a doctor who felt he was ‘too young’ for it.. We were all devastated, and Rob did not have a great prognosis. He fought 30 years of pain with Crohn’s, only to face worse suffering. It was a brutal, painful and scary experience for all of us, but he faced it bravely and calmly, and tried his best to reassure his wife and daughters. He was Captain America, his childhood hero.

But another true hero is his wife of 26 years, Sheila. She cared for Rob through Crohn’s and migraines, helping him as he was doubled over in pain at Target. They missed many social and family events because of Crohn’s, but nothing prepared us for the devastation of cancer. Rob’s time was short, and Sheila went above and beyond to make their precious life together fun and meaningful. This included a family trip to LA to appear on the Price is Right (Rob was a fan). Her infectious energy got her a place on stage- Rob loved that. His hormone treatments had a huge effect on their relationship, but Sheila remained upbeat and grateful. They sold their house, and let go of many things that didn’t seem to matter much anymore. So many waves of panic and grief. When his treatments began to fail, Sheila was at the appointments, keeping notes and schedules of medications and tests. When chemo effects took hold, Sheila devised a system of plastic bags around the house to manage nausea. She protected Rob’s dignity. She also took on most of the parental and household duties. It was amazing to watch.

After Rob suffered a massive stroke toward the end, Sheila watched as her funny and very intelligent husband lost his cognitive abilities and eyesight. She never left his side. She slept with him, fed and bathed him, and would often hold his head in her hands, kissing him and reassuring him she was there. And she was, until the moment he left us. She was a loving force – you could feel it, it was palpable. Sheila also helped her daughters try to process what was happening, even when she didn’t understand it herself. She is an extraordinary woman, and we are all grateful to have her in our lives. She is our hero, for how she took care of our brother.

Love always, Denise & Michelle (Rob’s sisters)