Steve

About Steve

My name is Kelli and I am writing about my Father in law Steve, who recently passed away in September of 2017 of prostate cancer. He was diagnosed in June of that year. I remember the day my husband came home and told me, I was 30 weeks pregnant with our now 6 month old twins. It was a hard pill to swallow. My FIL had been having some stomach pain so we thought he should go to the Dr. Things like gallstones crossed my mind, but never did I think cancer. And pancreatic, at that! But we were going to hope for the best and see what the Drs had to say so we took him to the Dr for testing and got results of stage 4 with mets to the liver. Our only option was to start chemo. So we took him to the hospital for treatments. The same hospital where I had been 2 weeks prior for preterm labor with my twins. Now when I say we I mean my husband (his son) and I, his wife and my sister in law (his daughter) and her husband. We are a very close family. Steve was told that he was a candidate for a trial drug, which we were all happy about. He did one round of chemo and some of the trial drugs then he was not acting himself. Doing things out of the ordinary that had us very concerned. We took him to the ER and we were told he was in kidney failure and needed emergent dialysis that night! We were back and forth to the hospital for testing for me with the twins and we were there for him, we basically lived there. Now we have a 4 year old as well and my sister in law has 2 kids as well, 10 and 8. We brought them as often as possible to visit poppop. In the mean time it was discovered that he had a cdiff infection as well. So he had to be on isolation. Then he went into atrial fibrillation and got moved to the cardiac floor for treatment. It seemed like every step was one in the wrong direction. My husband and I have been together for 18 years, that is how long I have know my father in law. Never once had I ever seen him complain or ask for help other than to clean out his gutters on the roof. This man never wanted anything from anyone! In fact he was a volunteer fire police for his town, he helped everyone else! And as I watched him laying in the hospital bed unable to move by himself, it broke my heart. In the coming weeks I went into labor and had my twins early. We spent our days and nights in the NICU and whatever hospital room he was in. Steve was discharged home and fell. He declined fast and we were stumped because he seemed to be doing better in the hospital. We brought him to the ER after I received a frantic call from my mother in law. My husband and I got there and he looked pale, was having trouble breathing and could not stand. He was slumped over in the chair. Against my better judgement I let them bring him by car to the hospital. I found out the night before he had fallen off the couch and my mother in law had to call the neighbor to come help her get him off the floor. He was admitted to the hospital once again, turns out he lacerated his bowel when he fell. My mother in law called and told us they were taking him to surgery to repair his bowel. That night she requested that my husband and his sister come to see him in the ICU. I had a bad feeling in my stomach. That night when my husband walked through the door he just cried as he told me that his dad was going to hospice because the cancer had spread to his lungs and the Drs said it would only be a few weeks . I was at a loss. I could do nothing but cry with him and hug him. In the next week and a half twins came home and we spent every minute we could at the hospice unit. Our whole family was there. We took shifts and did what we could to be by his side. Our friends visited. My mother in law left only a few times to go home and shower. We brought her food. The quickness of this disease is like nothing I’ve ever seen. It left me feeling powerless and I am a nurse. I did the best to comfort my family. He passed in hospice how he wanted. And soon after my husband got deployed to Puerto Rico for 5 weeks to help with the disaster relief. I miss my father in law every day and wish he could be here to see his grandkids grow up. He did get to see them once in the NICU right after they were born and I am thankful for that. Prostate cancer has one of the lowest survival rates because there are not that many symptoms until it is further along. I feel so strongly that we need more information about this cancer out in the public so we can better educate people. Thank you all for reading my story.

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