Eddie

About Eddie

This is my story I never seen coming. My fiance’s grandfather was having back pains for a while he thought they where pains from working in construction with heavy equipment for thirty plus year, He had a family doctor appointment for a complete yearly work up so of course blood was taken here is when life changed. His blood work came back his PSA was high the doctor gave him a referral to a cancer center here locally to get some further testing and biopsies within a few days we got the call saying he had prostate cancer, we had an appointment to see his amazing doctor he went over every question I had and every test result he had. My fiance’s grandfather had become like a second dad, That day in September 2012 the doctor told us he has stage 4 prostate cancer it had already spread to his spine and some spots on his ribs. All we could do was fight it from getting worse for as long as we could. My grandfather didn’t want to fight but he did for me and the life he still wanted to enjoy. Fighting the prostate cancer in the beginning was simple in a way nothing about him was different mentally or emotionally, even though physically he had changed you never let it stop him from doing what he wanted. He was never able to take vacations or enjoy life that was my goal now after finding out he had prostate cancer I made plans for little trips and even big ones. We went to Florida for the first time at age 69 and LOVED IT he had such a great time, went back almost every other year. I’ve always been a caregiver a role that has found me since I’ve been little. This man wasn’t my blood family and wasn’t my responsibility but I knew to he needed somebody that would take care of him and push him would he felt like giving up so I stepped up and did what needed done nobody else in his family would have helped him through the struggle, his wife was sick herself and had been most of their marriage. I was already caring for her and there is absolutely no question that I would do it for him. I have two children I also work in the medical field caring for elderly it was a struggle on a daily basis to balance work kids and sick grandparents but I found a way everyday it comes easy to some, some not so much I was determined to see this through to the end and take it as much time as we possibly could. How to change medicine a couple of times because the PSA would go up we would try new clinical trials everything was going well it seemed. This was the first time I’ve ever had to do with prostate cancer so it was a learning experience every step we took. In 2016 everything changed he was having so much pain nothing seemed to help so the doctor recommended doing radiation you did radiation every day for two weeks it was exhausting he couldn’t walk he had to use a power scooter his legs would swell he didn’t want to eat didn’t want to get out of bed the person that was mentally and emotionally strong for so long was slowly becoming mentally physically and emotionally broken. The radiation work for a little while then the pain came back we tried another procedure of radiation but it didn’t seem to help. The man who was always up every morning shower getting dressed to do nothing for the day but watch TV or to take long drives now became the man who was unable to do for himself most the time and that hurt his spirit. Thanksgiving 2016 came around and he made himself get up out of bed and come out to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner like we have always done for the last 14 years together I could see it in his face that it was painful but he was determined to do this which he did and grateful that I got to have that thanksgiving as it would be our last. He was a strong-willed stubborn man never liked to ask for help. On December 28th 2016 he took a fall trying to get up, I was at work but my fiancé and children we’re home my fiancé went to help him and called me right away because he was worried he could tell things were different and grandpa being strong-minded person he is was refusing to let him call the ambulance and go to the hospital I got home as soon as I could and called the ambulance and went to the hospital he could never tell me no. That December 28th everything changed I don’t know if I just didn’t want to see it or if I did see it but wasn’t ready to admit it. They did their test they’re in the emergency room and as we’re sitting there I could see until the difference I don’t know if it was because of the medicine but he wasn’t quite himself that night the doctor came in and wanted to talk to us he asked us to go to the hallway I knew then it was not a very good thing me being his POA had to make some very hard decisions that I still live with to this day and always will we had to choose to put him on hospice. During the hospital stay we had seen his prostate cancer doctor to talk to him and see what was actually really going on see his PSA levels where raised some but nothing the doctor was worried about this was just physically the prostate cancer how warm his body down and I believe he was tired too but was fighting because of me ever question they ask at the hospital he would turn and look at me and asked me what I thought this is when it became a struggle caring for someone who you love so dearly. We always talked about if it got to this point what I would do so we already kind of had our game plan handled and he always knew that I took care of what needed to be done we brought him home on hospice within a few days the pain medicine really wasn’t working so we had to take him to a facility for hospice patients at the end of life for them to give him Comfort medication I had to change his code status which was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make but it wasn’t about me, I had to put him first. Let me go back just a little in June of 2017 me and my fiancé was supposed to get married in our favorite spot Daytona Beach Grandpa look forward to this more than I think we did a couple of people would ask him what are you holding on for he said I have things I have to do they would ask him what that would be and he would say I have to get these two knotheads married first unfortunately that didn’t happen because he decline so quickly the night that we took him to the hospice facility was January 4th 2017 we knew we had to give him his last wish we had the chaplain come in we exchanged vows at his hospice bedside we didn’t have a marriage license so it wasn’t legal but Grandpa didn’t know that to him he got to see his to knot- heads get married he passed away January 5th of 2017 at 7:38 a.m. I made some promises to him that I try to keep everyday is a struggle not having him around but I keep moving forward because I know what he would want for me. Me and my fiancé consider our ourselves married but our wedding may not happen for quite a while it feels so different planning a wedding now without Grandpa here but for us January 4th will always be our anniversary. Grandpa was married for 52 years to his wife Linda who passed away just 24 days after he didn’t on January 29th 2017.

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