Joyce B.

About Joyce B.

My husband Steven and I met in 1979 when I was just 19 and he was 22. It was love at first sight and I knew I had met my soul mate. We were inseparable from the first time we met and we were married less then a year later when I was 20 and he was 23. This year we will celebrate our 39th wedding anniversary. I love and adore him more every single day and can not imagine my life without him.

In 2001 my husband was diagnosed with Prostate cancer. At the time he was only 44 years old and we had four daughters the youngest of which had just turned 6. I was terrified that we would lose him. He was a US Coast Guard veteran who became disabled from his service and he had already given so much, it seemed so unfair that he would have to go through this but we made it through. He had a Radical Prostatectomy in January of 2002 and after 6 months and several complications including a bout with pneumonia that landed him in intensive care, he was back to work full time. We thought we had put this all behind us but this past August 2018, at a routine physical at the Veterans Hospital we were told his PSA was rising again. Having had the prostate removed, he should not have any PSA level but even more concerning was that it was consistently rising. Several more blood tests, bone scans and an MRI confirmed our worst fears. The cancer was back after 17 years and again I had to face the fear of losing him. It scares me every single day. There are many nights that I don’t sleep at all because I am so scared. He is not just my husband, he is my best friend! We do everything together. No one can make me laugh like he can and no one makes me feel as secure as he does. The thought of losing him terrifies me.

In November he started hormone therapy to shrink the tumor. He suffers horrible headaches, hot flashes and fatigue along with the emotional mood swings caused both by the cancer and the medication. I run him cool baths when he is hot, warm ones when he is cold, we stay up all night watching Netflix and old movies when he can’t sleep. I know he would take care of me if I were ill, so I have to do everything I can to make this is easy as possible for him as he would do the same for me.

We met with the radiation oncologist in December, where we were informed that he feels it was a mistake not to have had radiation back in 2002. If he had the radiation treatments then the cure rate would have been very high. Now with a reoccurrence he told us that it was more like 1 in 3. Radiation starts next week and will be every day for 2 months or so. All of this is overwhelming. In addition to making sure the bills are paid, cooking and cleaning, I need to make sure he has and takes all of his medications on time, make the medical appointments and keep records for all the different doctors to make sure everyone is informed. I spend hours researching the treatments because I just want to make sure we do everything right this time. Last time we listened 100% to the doctors when they told him not to have radiation (doctor said, “with radiation you only have one bullet in the gun so don’t shoot it now”). I am determined not to make that mistake again.

I am so tired all of the time but I don’t want to let him see that because I know he already feels guilty for having to stop working. He has always taken care of me and our family and it is so hard for him to know that now, I have to care for him. So I keep all of this to myself. It would be such a joy and would really be such a boost to receive a care package from Kristen Bell. I am attaching a photograph of the two of us. The bottom picture was taken on our wedding day. Steven is 23 and I am 20. The top picture was taken 5 years ago when Steven was 57 and I was 54. I think you can see from the photographs how much we love and adore each other. Thank you for all that you do to promote awareness of prostate cancer and the work being done to find new treatments and hopefully one day a cure.

Sincerely,

Joyce Brown

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